Oh so happy for 2013. 2012 was a whirlwind to say the least and I am quite fine with putting it behind me. I am still in good spirits and my mindset is set on being cancer free.
 
 
 
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I am happy to report that I am now 50% done with my chemo treatments as of December 26, 2012!!! Whoo hoo!! I have 3 more treatments through Jan-Feb 2013 + 1 month of radiation in March. I go in for my 4th treatment January  14, and then at the end of January I will get a followup PET scan to see where I stand. This scan will be after 4 chemo treatments, and to compare to my infected PET scan. Although nervous, I am really excited to get there. I am super anxious to see what my progress has been. In my mind, I am kicking this cancers a$$ – undoubtedly. I just don’t feel that there is any other way to it, but to beat it. So, I look forward to the proof.
 
How I have been….?
 
Although I am pretty positive and headstrong, I have had some side effects that I have dealt with. Here’s the downlow on the last few months…
 
1)      Neuropathy – this is the tingling or “pins in needles” in my fingertips. I have Grade I which means it is only in my finger tips and I can still use my fingers normally (i.e. like buttoning a shirt or picking up something small). I should not have to worry if it stays like this, which I hope, but if it gets to my feet or affects me holding on to things, there may be concern of permanent nerve damage. This is a known side effect for chemo patients. I suppose it isn’t as bad as having cancer.
 
2)      Hormonal changes – Boo…boo…BOO! Dealing with some acne, frustrating – it is the last thing I want to have to deal on top of everything else. Did go to the doctor and they had to give me a hormone pill to offset what the chemo was effecting. Doing my best to regulate it now, but the damage was done and it is taking longer than I am comfortable with to dissipate.  One day at a time…*deep breath*
 
3)      Muscle weakness and pains – I get this during the first week after treatment. I have to take these Neupogen shots which are basically white blood cell booster shots. They will help regulate the white blood cells in the body so one doesn’t get too weak. The side effect from this shot is the weakness in the bones and muscles. I didn’t realize what I was feeling was from the shots until this last time around. The best way to describe it is like I am bruised all over, so I am sensitive to the touch.

4)      Head pressure – I have had this after all of my treatments for days 1 through 3-5. Treatment 1 was bad, treatment 2 was worse, and treatment 3 was actually not so bad. It was lessened this last time around to my surprise. The pressure is what I would imagine a migraine would feel like, however I have never had a migraine myself. My head literally feels like it is going to explode; just pressure coming from all angles. Usually I just lay down and sleep or watch TV. I DO NOT move, that is the key…and it passes after a bit.
 
 
What keeps me positive…?
 
1)      Support – I have had an overabundance of support. It is fantastically ridiculous! I am over joyed and grateful. Having all my friends and family be here for me has been such a blessing. Just to name a few…
 
·         Staying at my brother’s and sister in law’s house has also been such a good thing for me. Being with my family and my little nephew has not allowed me to get distracted on the negative. I have constant interaction with someone on a daily basis. David, Candice, and Dylan are all positive influences in my life and just having the company has been so healing. Thank you!
 
 
·         I have had a number of people come to my treatments with me (you know who you are, thank you!). All the nurses and even other patients tell me how “popular” I am. Haha, I just thank them and smile. Pam Urry has been to every one of my treatments, and I know she plans on going to all the rest – constant love and support from her!
 
·         Kelly McCoy from Canada came to see me during the Christmas session. While she was here we got to shop and spend a lot of time with my family. She treated me like the same ol Bee – the only difference was that I was bald! She gave up her Christmas to spend it with me and I am so grateful. Love you friend.
 
 
 
2)      Working  – this has been important to me. It has been essential that I keep some normalcy in my life and not just feel like a sick person. Work does not have to define my life; however there is some stability there that I do not want to lose. Also I enjoy continuing to see and interact with my peers and co-workers.
 
3)      Hanging with friend, old and new – this has also been, I think, so healing for me. I make sure that I take the time to spend time away from home with friends. I have been able to shape closer bonds with some, be more present with others, and rekindle past connections – all have been a positive thing for me.
 
Goals moving forward…?
 
1)      Exercise  – this is approved by the doctor!
 
2)      Read more – nuff said
 
3)      Go to a Lymphoma group meeting – Honestly part of me does not have the urge to attend a support group meeting. I feel like I am mentally doing so well that I don’t need to go…yet, I have been told it is important to meet others that are dealing with the same situation as I am. So, I will go.
 
 
Happy New Year! Thank goodness we are moving forward.
I will write more about my baldness and wig-fiasco next time. Till then, peace out!
 

Hugs and love!